I realized that my short statuses on FB are just annoying people rather than giving me a healthy outlet for my recent frustrations. SOOO since I feel the need to vent I figure I will just do it here that way you have the choice to leave now.... because I am warning you this will be a bitch-fest pity party post.
BUT if you would like to know who pissed in my cheerios this post is for you. Sometimes life sucks and you just need to be a cynical crazy mean person.
OK Problem #1 - Rain. It rains here soooo much. It rains all the time. ALL THE FREAKING TIME. I do not deal well with rain. The gloom of a rainy day is just too much for me. It always has been my whole life. I NEED the SUN. I need it like I need air.
Problem #2 Not being able to get out and walk. I planned on curbing my depression and getting rid of a few pounds so I bought expensive running shoes and a jogging stroller. Well because of the RAIN. I can't ever go! It's frustrating to finally have the motivation to move and I can't. LAME. I have a membership to the Y but it's a 30 minute drive and I can't afford to go everyday because gas in so expensive.
Problem #3 Not sleeping well. Kalea has woken me up almost every night this week in the middle of the night. She is teething and so I am not angry with her it just sucks not to get good sleep. I don't function well without good sleep
Problem #4 feeling out place and unsettled. We just got here. We are leaving in 7 months. So I just feel like I can't settle. I can't treat this place any different than a hotel. It's temporary. I am also feeling really upset about the fact that I was planning on not getting close to anyone here because it's to hard to say goodbye. Well in true Shannon fashion I have developed some really good friendships and attachments to my ward and friends. Knowing I just have to say goodbye soon is the suck. I feel like I can't be 100% in like I wanna be.
Problem #5 The stress of Tim's job has been high since the fire. I have been trying to keep my feelings in check but my paranoid brain runs rampant. It's stupid I know.
Anyways I realize I have answers to all these problems and I realize I have a lot to be grateful for. I am not trying to be ungrateful BUT there are just low points in life.
I am in one now.
That's all there is to it.
I will come out of it. I will be fine. Well I am fine. BUT it just need to work it out.
Ok anyways if you love me be patient. I realize I am being a debbie downer. I get it I really do. BUT sometimes I just need to pout and stomp my feet.
Ok the end
1 comment:
Totally understand! I'm in a similar place on items 1-3. I don't feel out of place here since I've lived here my whole life but I do understand the feeling. I felt that way for the 2 1/2 years we lived in Provo. Felt like I couldn't settle in because I knew we were leaving. I can only imagine that feeling is worse with such a short stint. Don't feel bad about complaining. We all need to from time to time.
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