Vent...

I just have to vent for a second cuz.. well... I just have to!!

I know my last post will be a stark contrast to this one... not trying to be a hypocrite.. really

I just have to say how sick and tired I am of planing my life around having a child. It freakin sucks... every decision we make is centered around the hope of being parents and I am so tired of it.. LIKE...............

We cant plan a vacation because we might be pregnant.

Cancelled School next semester and missed the last 2 weeks of the semester because we thought we would be parents(started the semester with the most horrible miscarriage yet and ended it with a failed adoption attempt) ya that was awesome....

Every extra penny we have goes towards having to pay someone, somewhere to have a kid... it doesn't matter who or where or how much, if we want to be parents we gotta fork over thousands of dollars

Its hard to keep a job because employers don't like it very much that you might need a day off in the middle of your cycle to have a procedure done

and etc etc etc......................

Its so frustrating that we just cant live normal lives. Its so hard to think about it constantly. Its so disappointing when we think.. this year it will happen, and yet another year is almost over and still our arms are empty. UGGGGG I just want to scream.

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl, can you please send me a glimmer of hope?


Sorry just had to get that out.