Well I just have to say that is complete Crap. COMPLETE CRAP.
Words do hurt, in fact they can hurt worse than a broken bone. Even when they come from someone who is so insignificant in your life that its laughable. We all have our own personal trials, and we all have our own personal demons. These things are very sensitive because you already beat yourself up every day over them. Take for example.... my infertility.
Infertility is already the hardest things a woman can experience. The reason why is because it is innate for women to bear and raise children, and to not be able to do so makes you feel like pretty much ..... well.... a freak. I feel this way all the time. I see these women just pop out babies one after the other and I ask myself "whats wrong with me?" I ask myself all the time if I did something to deserve this or bring this on myself. I look in the mirror and see my extra pounds and ask if thats why? Yet in the same breath part of the reason why I am overweight is because of a MEDICAL condition I have that also causes infertility. Not to mention all the stress and sorrow that comes along with that. It makes it so hard to keep the weight off. BUT I do not use that as an excuse , I exercise, I try my best to watch what I eat and still my body holds onto it.
I beat myself up over that all the time.
So when someone tells you that your fat and its your fault you aren't pregnant, they basically rip out your heart.
I wish I could just pop out kids, I wish could just forget about it and not talk about it, BUT I CANT. That is me, that is my life!!! Why is it ok for everyone to constantly talk about their kids this and their kids that yet I cant ever say anything about my lack of children without being called a whiner and I need to get over it.
( BTW if you have no idea where this is coming from I was personally attacked on FaceBook by some King Douche who decided it would be fun to kick someone when they are down.)
My point is you never know where someone is and how they got there. You never know the pain they might already be in. You never know if your comment might push them over the edge. If you actually take the time out of your day to put someone else down, what kind of a person are you? What kind of soulless being kicks someone when they are down?
If anyone has been annoyed at how I always talk about my infertility and the pain I have been through let me give you a run down on how the past 4 or so years have been.
*I HAVE LOST 4 BABIES. THATS RIGHT 4!!!!!
*I HAD 2 MISCARRIAGES IN ONE YEAR
*WITHIN THE PAST YEAR I HAVE HAD 2 ECTOPIC PREGNANCIES (ONE WHICH THREATENED MY LIFE) AND TO TOP IT OFF A FAILED ADOPTION SITUATION.
I didn't list these things to say whoa is me, or please pity me. I say this so maybe people can understand the kind of pain I have been through. Its called empathy, apparently some people don't know what that is.
I feel that I have every right to be upset about this. I have every right to express my sadness. I have every right to expect that people should be sensitive to my situation.
I think its complete crap that because people don't understand infertility they can say whatever they want because they think I somehow caused this.
How would they feel if someone took their child from them? Or if their baby died without ever getting the chance to hold them. Well thats what has happened to me. OVER and OVER and OVER again
Anyways, I am so hurt that I was attacked unprovoked in such a vicious way. It makes me think about how powerful words can be. I never want to be that person. NEVER.
I know that all of you who care about me don't feel that way towards me, but I also know there are people out there who make judgements about me and battles with infertility.
I say to these people... go on with your life... don't read my blog or my Facebook.
All you have to do is just ignore me. Just delete me from your life. I am ok with that. Please move on with your life because I don't need you
Well now that I am done saying that I want to just say that I do agree with something I was told when I was a kid and that is " If you cant say anything nice don't say anything at all"
3 comments:
I think you do have a right to be upset...I've been on the receiving end of so many thoughtless, rude comments over the years. I've had people tell me to my face that the reason I can't get pregnant is because I'm fat, or because I'm not reading my scriptures enough, or because I drink Diet Coke. You know what I say?? HOGWASH!
Unfortunately, infertility was meant to be my path...and it looks like yours. We beat ourselves up enough, we don't need other people adding to our heartache.
Sorry you're going through all this. Mean people suck.
In church yesterday I kept thinking of what happened to you and what that mean awful person said to you. Then there was a man in the room that made a comment that really touched me. He said that over on one side is what the Lord wants us to become, and over on the other side is where we are. He said that we will go through very trying experiences that will wrench our lives in ways that absolutely uncomfortable. He wil also require us to trust in His timing. Ultimately, we will come out on the the otherside purified and blessed beyond measure. I agree with him. Remember, when crap like this happens (1) the rude person must be in much pain to try and hurt you, which is sad. (2) you agrees to and are destined to face these trials, but Heavenly Father has already taught you how to make it through. (3) you have greatness,powerful, and beautiful things in store for you. Be honest, you can feel that when storm has weathered you will come out of it absolutely beautiful, with the power and courage to help and change people's lives through that beauty. You can feel that you will be a force to be reckoned with and you will so that with love and dignity, not with hatred. You are already part of that, and the rest will come as you grow. I am lucky to be your sister.
why would anyone want to attack you about what's going on in your life? How pathetic to attack you when you're feeling like this. People have no respect for others now days.
Sorry this happened!
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