Any Ideas?????

Well hello my lovelies;) I have no idea what I want to blog about but I just figured maybe I would start typing and something would just come out!!!! I have had too much time on my hands as of late and I am not quite sure what to do with myself. I mean what do you do when every time you have a plan it falls through? I don't mean to be so negative and believe me I am probably more sick of it than any of you. For those of you who REALLY know me you know I am very up beat, positive, goofy, and a bit of a spaz:} So for me to feel so depressed for so long its very out of character. I was starting to feel good cuz I got this beauty........



















But then I got soooo sick last week I couldn't breath, let alone ride 20 miles so I didn't have anything to do but to lay in bed and be miserable. Now that I am feeling better I am afraid I have lost my motivation. Exercise is so important to help me feel good about myself... anyways but really I think its cuz since I'm not in school and I quit my job I don't have any purpose.
UGGG that's the most frustrating thing about this whole pursuit of the baby thing... its like I know my purpose in this life is to be a mother ...and well.... I am struggling to fill my time until that happens.
Ok maybe I need to volunteer somewhere.. any one need some service or know anywhere that is a good place to serve?
I don't want to be debbie downer anymore..... I am just so sick of it and I am pretty sure all of you are too!!! BUt I just cant shake this feeling of impending doom!!!!!! BLLLAAAHHHHH!!!
so any ideas anyone? I feel like I have nothing to update everyone on here cuz its just the same crap different day!!!!!!!!!!!!! its like my life is just moving in slow motion as the world passes me by. Everyone else seems to be progressing in the natural way of life and I am just stuck here!!!! Pathetic I know........ Please be gentle on me.